this is where I leave you
by Chikachiii3
Summary: In which Chika knows she cannot keep Riko. They parted friends, just as they'd first met.


_AN: Posted a few days ago on AO3...Decided I should post it here too!_

* * *

Chika let the silence hang between them, aware that Riko's unreadable features likely mirrored her own. She didn't know how long they'd been sitting there, surrounded by their thoughts and the impossibility of talking about any of them.

Even as they sat without words or music to guide them Riko's fingers moved across her thighs as elegantly as they might across piano keys. Silent music to keep her calm.

 _It shouldn't be like this._

"I never got to hear your audition piece," Chika said slowly, more a whisper than her normal speech, "I've got time now?"

Riko looked at her, confused for a moment, and then Chika caught the beginnings of a smile.

"I'd love to play it for you," Riko was up in an instant, folding back the lid of her piano and stretching her hands like dancers, "I forgot… I was so busy practicing I practically never saw you."

Chika closed her eyes as the melody began.

Usually, she liked to watch as Riko poured herself into her music, her every breath in time with the rhythm, her hands like flowing water across the keys as though there was no effort involved, her eyes flickering between the music and the middle of nowhere as she simply felt the music. Usually, she watched even the slowest pieces on the edge of her seat, because Riko was simply incredible, and no one in the world could argue that fact. Chika had never ceased to be amazed by it all.

But this time watching it hurt.

The piece was beautiful, of course it was. You didn't audition with anything but your best, not if you were Riko. Hours and days and weeks had been poured into this single piece of music, and it was obvious to anyone who could hear it.

 _This is what you love._

Chika dug her fingers into her palms. God, sometimes she felt like she was holding on just so damn tight… and that wasn't the way it was meant to be.

 _You'll take the gig, right? They're famous… even I've heard of them, and they're an orchestra for god's sake!_

 _I… I don't know… it's not like they stay in one place. I'd be traveling all over the world. For a while. Quite a while._

Riko had let the subject drop and shatter on the ground. She hadn't quite turned them down, but she would soon. Chika put her head in her hands.

 _It's your dream, Riko…_

She knew enough about world famous orchestras to know that they didn't offer a place to you every day. And there weren't many of them. And you didn't get second chances if you left them waiting too long. The world had no shortage of pianists, only the places they could play.

 _And I'm the only thing holding you back, aren't I?_

She could have laughed at herself if she wasn't about to lose the most precious person in the world to her. Only a few short years ago, when they'd been love drunk teens, she wouldn't have ever dreamed of wanting Riko to do this. No.

Chika would have held onto her as though she were drowning, and it wouldn't have mattered if she'd dragged Riko down with her. They were a package deal, there was no one without the other, and if it was between Chika and a life long dream… well. Chika knew which one she would want Riko to choose.

She knew which she wanted now as well.

The answer's just different.

She took a deep breath, just as the last notes of the piece faded, and Riko came back to earth, glassy-eyed and breathless.

"So?" Riko bubbled then froze, a deer in headlights as she saw Chika's face, "What did you think? What's wrong?"

"I think it was beautiful."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Chika took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and promised herself not to cry.

"I love you, Riko," clenched her fists, unclenched her fists, "so that means I want you to have… the best life you possibly can."

"I know that," Riko didn't move from the piano stool, curious and frightened, "what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you didn't chase a dream because I was here. Holding you back. After all, you never tried to deter me from my dreams, did you?" Chika managed a trembling smile, "I think… I think we need to take different paths for a while. I think you need to do this. For yourself. You were born for this, Riko."

Riko said nothing. Her knuckles, where her hands gripped the bench, were white.

"You were born for this," Chika repeated slowly, "you have this amazing gift and talent, and you can't throw it away just for me."

For a long while they didn't say anything. They looked at one another and Chika felt her heart ache. She hadn't known that you could miss someone before they even left.

Finally, Riko took a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was half way between defeat and peace.

"I know."

* * *

The airport bustled around them in a whirlwind of adventures and homecomings. For a moment Chika felt as small as she had when she was only a girl, alone in a world too large to traverse by yourself. She'd had Riko by her side since they were fifteen, only just growing into the world that beckoned around them.

"So this is it?" Riko was sparkling eyes and nervous laughter, "You're the only one who could come to see me off, y'know."

Chika laughed. It didn't hurt so much when she saw how happy Riko was.

"Glad they're not making you bring your own instrument," she teased, eyeing the small avalanche of luggage strewn about Riko's feet, "I don't know how you'd fit all these essentials."

They laughed together and fell into a tight hug, Riko's cheek pressed to her own.

"I'm gonna miss you. And your music," Chika paused, "but mostly your music."

"Chika!" Riko laughed and squeezed her even tighter, "You know… you've changed a lot. You're not the same person I met all those years ago."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You know, less bull-headed. Slightly, anyway. Less spoiled, I guess?. I… I don't think the girl I first met would be sending me off to go follow a dream instead of keeping what she really wanted."

"Then maybe you won't miss me quite as much," Chika was determined to keep them both smiling, but hers felt hollow.

For a moment all laughter left Riko's eyes and she pressed her hand to Chika's cheek, staring at her as though she were memorizing everything she was leaving behind.

"I can promise you… that's not something you need to worry about."

They fell into silence once more, and it hung between them again, no longer the absence of talk, but rather the knowledge that they had said all they could say. Everything else was just noise.

They parted friends, just as they'd first met. And Chika watched, still furiously blinking back tears, as Riko's plane rose into the sky and soared towards the star-studded night.


End file.
